Hello love,
Emotional eating is a coping mechanism that we develop in childhood to help us deal with discomfort, uncomfortable emotions and stress.
It’s something we develop because certain needs were not met. When we are going through this discomfort and distress we would not have had parents or caregivers that were able to help us move through this.
They were not able to model to us how to move through discomfort, hold space for us, and help us create resolution.
This would have left us viscerally with these uncomfortable emotions. If we couldn’t release this discomfort we had to cope or learn to survive with it. So food is great at numbing the pain, distracting us and making us feel good temporarily.
So we start developing this relationship to food that is a band-aid. We are trying to meet these needs of soothing, of comfort and resolution with food which cannot meet our true needs.
What we would have needed is to have been seen, heard, validated, attuned to, and understood by our parents.
For them to validate what we were experiencing and help us move through that discomfort by being calm and nurturing and helping us find resolution once our nervous system calmed down.
This is usually not the case, especially if you are an emotional eater.
And it doesn’t matter if your parents did their “best”. If you have this pattern those deeper needs were not met.
Most likely your parents would not have been able to do that for themselves, their parents would not have been able to do this and you can see how this pattern is multigenerational.
These needs are vital and if not met we turn to coping mechanisms like Emotional Eating.
Check out the video at the timestamps for more:
- 2:30 When needs are not met we look for substitutes
- 2:50 When the substitute starts impacting us in other unhealthy ways
- 3:15 It’s not about just recognizing unmet needs. Getting to the root to resolve this pattern.
- 3:30 The unmet needs compound the more substitutions we use (food, fitting into a certain body, etc)
- 3:45 We think we can meet our needs with *these* tactics and it falls flat because it doesn’t get into the root
- 4:35 What does it look like to meet these needs?
- 6:55 Emotional eating is not about a magic bullet it is multilayered
- 7:20 Your parents may have tried their “best” but key things are missing
- 7:40 Getting the modelling you needed to do the deeper work to resolve emotional eating
- 8:15 How to implement strategies that work for us to meet our true needs
Next Steps
1. If you are ready to start your journey to resolving your emotional eating you can download my free guide “What Are You Truly Hungry For?” to start discerning true from emotional hunger and catching your triggers HERE.
2. If you are ready to transform your emotional eating so that you can get to ease, peace and confidence around food and in your body with a step by step process and guidance then find out more about The Emotional Eating Evolution Program HERE.
To wholeness,
~Michelle
Certified Holistic Nutritionist Specializing in Emotional Eating
