I got this question this week from a client and it was interesting because we all go through this when we want to move forward. It’s a dance between the old version of ourselves and the new.
That woman in our minds – might be difficult or too picky and we don’t want to become “that” person. That woman is also asking for her needs to be met 😉
The question that came up from my client was “How do I eat in restaurants – I want to just be simple and have a burger and fries”. But she knew she wouldn’t feel good at all.
Her idea of who she needed to be + eat was very different than what she truly needed to feel healthy.
When we are emotional eaters and we try to pease others we are not showing our authentic selves. Our partner (in this example) is liking /validating a false version of who we are.
Emotional Eating + People Pleasing
Emotional eating is when we use food to soothe ourselves, to deal with stress and discomfort. This starts in childhood when we are not regulated. We may decide to become a certain way to please our parents and get some love and attention. In this process we become people pleasers who neglect their true needs and then emotionally eat to soothe themselves.
When we put everyone before us and stay stuck – who does this serve?
If you show an inauthentic version of yourself how will you be loved for who you really are?
This in not about a burger and fries…
This is not about a burger and fries. It’s about being perceived as “easygoing” and not “high maintenance”. Somehow you think if you are easy going you will be accepted more. If you wanted a burger and fries this would not be an issue.
This is about self judgement and your needs.
Why do you feel you can’t ask for your needs? Think back to childhood or an earlier time – where you punished for having needs or rejected? You had to be a certain way to be loved?
This is what we work through in the Emotional Eating Evolution Program. This could be a boundary issue or a deeper issue as there are layers to this.
For my client I would focus on the following to really dismantle this issue:
-by not nourishing her body and dismissing her needs she may have indigestion or simply feel badly which may spiral her into more emotional eating
-depending on the time of month she may need to eat a certain way and by opting to eat in a way not aligned to her body she risks having poor sleep which will impact her mood and hunger the next day which can lead to more emotional eating
– she is not honouring her true needs and she is afraid to be seen a certain way. We can dive deeper into the root of this issue with the somatic meditations and resolve this limiting belief.
As we work through the program we have the tools to look at this. It’s a simple issue to feel good at the meal and after and have a supportive partner. It seems simple when I look at it but of course there are multiple layers to go through 🙂
This is how I would help my client. Hopefully this helps you as well. Of course if you are looking for more support and guidance in your own journey I invite you to book in an assessment call or find out more about The Emotional Eating Evolution Program here.
Certified Holistic Nutritionist + Emotional Eating Expert